Chic 'n' Stu
by Idiot Paranoia
Summary: I'm filling in a request of Sue Sue magoo's. Kurt's hungry and he wants food so he goes on an adventure in Bayville. Rated for some language.


Disclaimer: I don't own X-men Evolution or "Chic 'N' Stu" by System of a Down  
  
Author's Note: I was reading Sue Sue Magoo's profile and she said she would like someone to write a song fic to "Chic 'N' Stu" and I'm on a sugar high so I thought what the hay and here we go. Please forgive me of the crappiness of this story.  
  
"Blah" = Talking   
_Blah_ = Song   
  
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_This ballgames in the refrigerator   
  
The door closed   
  
The lights are out   
  
And the butters getting hard_   
  
It was after a Danger room session and Kurt was hungry. He bamfed himself into the Kitchen for a before dinner snack. He opened the refrigerator to a large supply of different foods and he smiled and licked his lips. He was about to grab some leftover pizza when Jean walked into the Kitchen.  
  
"Kurt, it's a half hour until dinner. I don't think that you should fill up on junk food." she said in a bitchy-but-trying-very-hard-to-be-motherly tone. "But Jean..." Kurt started but Jean just closed the fridge with her powers and sat down at the table watching Kurt.  
  
Kurt bamfed out of the kitchen and into his room. He got on all fours and pulled out a black box with five or six locks on it and unlocked it and inside was all the junk food you would need for your entire life. He was about to dig in when he heard a knock on his door. He quickly shut the box and put it under his bed and said, "Come in."  
  
"Hey, Kurt." It was Scott. "What's up?" he asked. Kurt sighed. He would have to wait to eat for another few minutes. "Nothing, Scott. Just hanging out." He replied. "Cool." Scott said and walked out. What the hell was that all about? Kurt thought to himself  
  
_What a splendid pie   
  
Pizza pizza pie   
  
Every minute, every second   
  
Buy buy buy buy buy   
  
What a splendid pie   
  
Pizza pizza pie   
  
Every minute, every second   
  
Buy buy buy buy buy_   
  
Kurt went to pull out the black box and it was gone. He cursed under his breath. Jean must have told Scott that he had that box and took it. Kurt's stomach was growling and he needed food. He checked his wallet, turned on his holowatch, and bamfed outside the mansion. He walked down the street and noticed a banner for a new fast food chain. He shrugged and walked to the restaurant.  
  
He got to the restaurant and decided to order pizza. The line was long but he still had twenty minutes until he needed to get back to the mansion. After waiting for what felt like a million years, he finally was able to order. "Welcome Pete's Picky Palace of Pricey Pizza and Pork Rinds." the man at the register said. "Ja, I would like a mushroom and anchovy pizza with a large cola and two orders of fries." Kurt said. The man at the register said the order into the microphone and a moment later Kurt's order was ready.  
  
He took his meal outside and looked around for any humans. While looking around he saw an advertisement for an arcade that just installed "a totally awesome new 3-D ride that will amaze you". Kurt couldn't pass up going to the arcade. It would most likely be replaced in a week by something more trendy.   
  
He bamfed himself to the arcade and no one was on line for the 3-d ride. He went to the ticket booth and purchased a ticket for the ride.  
  
_Pepperoni and green peppers   
  
Mushrooms, olive, chives   
  
Pepperoni and green peppers   
  
Mushrooms, olive, chives  
_  
After the ride finished, Kurt looked very disappointed and pissed off. The ride was a piece of crap that probably cost five dollars to make and he spent ten to ride it. He walked out of the arcade and looked at his watch. Fifteen more minutes until dinner. As he started walking, he noticed he was still hungry. He looked up and saw a billboard for a fancy café and he decided to go there.   
  
He got to the café and a sign said to try their "special" croissants. Kurt ordered one of the croissants and a cup of the café's specially brewed coffee. He sat down at a small table and started to eat his croissant but stopped. It tasted like an old sweaty gym sock. He spit it out and started to drink the coffee but forgot that it was burning hot and spit that out too.   
  
Unfortunately for the man sitting at the table next to Kurt, all the debris from Kurt's meal had sprayed on his face. Kurt bamfed out of the café before the owner could call the cops and ended up in an alleyway near the fast food restaurant.   
  
_Need therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need  
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes   
_  
Kurt had a headache from all his escapades and just wanted to go back to the mansion. He checked his watch and he only had five minutes to get back to the mansion. He bamfed and ended up in his room. He was relieved to be in his room and he lay down on his bed and tried to fall asleep.  
  
He dozed off and started dreaming. His dream was about him. He was walking in a city and billboards were everywhere. The billboards started talking and he couldn't get rid of the voices. He started screaming and shot out of bed.  
  
_Well advertisings got you on the run   
  
Need therapy, therapy, advertising causes   
  
Well advertisings got you on the run   
  
Need therapy, therapy, advertising causes   
  
Well advertisings got you on the run   
  
Advertisings got you on the run   
  
Advertisings got you on the run   
  
Advertisings got you on the run   
  
Advertisings got you on the run  
  
Advertisings got you on the run   
  
Advertisings got you on the run   
_   
Kurt heard someone knocking on his door and he got up and opened it. Scott was standing in the doorway. "It's time for dinner, Kurt." he told Kurt. "Ja, okay. What's for dinner?" Kurt asked. "Pete's Picky Palace of Pricey Pizza and Pork Rinds." Scott informed him. "NOOOOOO!" Kurt screamed and bamfed out of the room.   
  
"Like, what was that, Scott?" Kitty asked as she passed by. "I dunno. Something I said, I guess." Scott said and shrugged his shoulder. Kurt was a mystery to him right now. Kitty and Scott walked down to dinner together and ate their Pete's Picky Palace of Pricey Pizza and Pork Rinds meals without Kurt.  
  
_Need therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
  
Therapy, therapy   
  
Advertising causes need   
_  
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Wow, that was strange. Heh, I hope who ever reads this enjoyed it or found it disturbing. Please review.   
  



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